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Some of us have made a vow (promise) to be powerless as a young child in order to be loyal and fit into our families. I unconsciously made that vow as a very young child, to be like the women in my family’s lineage I had to give my power to the men. In third grade I felt my powerlessness and I didn’t like it. I was fascinated with power, why some had it and others didn’t. I wanted to know how could I have the freedom, money, and power that the men and boys seemed to possess and I didn’t?
I started my search for power in the library, checking out a book by Freud and one on witchcraft. Little did I know how revealing these two books would be of my future passions, studying the mind, quantum physics and energy.
Here is the trouble with my perception and why it took me so long to figure out that my power is within me, I didn’t know that I made a vow to be powerless and that I created other beliefs to back up the vow. So as long as the vow and beliefs exist, I will be testing all of my relationships and interactions with others to prove to me that I am powerful and worthy of power. If I don’t get the validation I am seeking to prove my power than I have proved myself right that I am powerless.
Just by the fact of having the need for others to validate me I create the circumstances that confirm that I am not powerful. Then that produces the reality that others are better than me, worthier than me, smarter than me, prettier than me, stronger than me, more creative than me, more prosperous than me, more successful than me, more valuable than me, more lovable than me, more perfect than me, luckier than me,…etc. I didn’t realize that my thoughts, intention and attention created my reality. I was focused on all the ways I was powerless and seeing who was powerful. I didn’t realize that my vow to be powerless along with my belief that women were weaker and less powerful than men was making it impossible for me to ever see myself as powerful and successful. I had been culturally brainwashed!  As long as I believed women were less than, then I could never be more than the women around me. I wanted to be a boy and have boy powers. I hung out with them hoping their powers or secrets would rub off on me. I thought girls and mothers were weak and frivolous. They weren’t out exploring the world, playing in nature and getting dirty. They were stuck doing chores, taking care of everyone while the men got to relax and be worldly. My mom divorced when I was four and raised three children on her own without the support of my father. She worked full time and was never trained to deal with finances, supports, structures and business to get ahead or succeed. She went to a job 9am – 5pm and suffered overwhelm and stress. My grandfather had three girls and was a successful businessman and entrepreneur. He never taught any of his girls business. He told me I couldn’t make a living from my passion for art. I would marry a man and he would take care of me and I would raise a family. If I wanted I could be a nurse. These were the culture norms at the time I was growing up and I didn’t know better and wanted to survive in my family and be a good enough. Something inside me was not satisfied with the norm and wanted more. Thank God! Can you relate to some of this story? You might have different circumstances for making the vow that you will be powerless to fit into your family for survival reasons and not even have a clue. You may feel powerless and want those around you to validate that you are powerful, but instead you keep finding evidence in your reality that you aren’t. Our battle to find justice and proof that we are powerful keeps attracting all the situations, people and events that would keep us in battle with ourselves. Take the time to look inside and breakthrough your vow and beliefs related to your powerlessness is important for you to be able to embrace you personal power and create a new empowering mindset that is aligned with your truth.  Validate your own power, worthiness, brilliance and value.
Challenge yours and other peoples, cultural, religious, family, and political beliefs. What do you feel aligned with? What is the truth? Stop giving your power away. Make your own decisions from your truth rather than from fear or rebellion (I’m not going to be like them) and frame your own conclusions with a loving and compassionate heart.
These early vows are complicated by the lies and beliefs we add to over the years. Your world is created mainly from your family’s beliefs and lies (other peoples stories) that you took on as a child as your own truth in order to survive in your family. It is your job to uncover the lies, vows, beliefs and thoughts that are creating your current reality that is not aligned with your heart and make the changes you need to live your truth. Being powerless is one of many vows. What are your vows that are keeping you from living a fulfilling and worthy life? Inner work:
Please share your thoughts and comments below. To living your prosperous and juicy life! Marilyn Call me for a complimentary Discovery Session at 805-883-8598
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