What is important to you?
I really want to know, so if you feel like sharing I would love to hear from you.
Rest and fun are important to me and my partner Jeff, so last week we went to Hawaii. We spent 3 days in Waikiki while Jeff played in a lacrosse tournament and then we headed to Maui for 4 days. While we were on Maui we did a lot of snorkeling, swimming and exploring the island. One day I had the miracle of swimming with a giant turtle. (picture of one below–that is not me diving). I felt like a mermaid in a scared moment.
I’m so excited to announce we have a new addition to our family. On Halloween we closed on 1 3/4 acres of land in downtown Santa Barbara. And we didn’t have to pay a million dollars for it.
Again this is evidence to never give up on your desires. You never know how things will turn out or how you will get there, but most of the time if you stick with it you will have what you imagine or better.
Jeff and I were looking for a house to buy and while looking around we weren’t happy with what we saw; million dollar homes that needed to be gutted, no privacy with houses right next to each other… We both love nature, like space and privacy so by chance while looking at a house a realtor told us about a piece of land behind the house we were viewing. Well, we fell in love at first site.
There turned out to be a lot of details to deal with (why others hadn’t purchase this prime piece of real estate. Thank God Jeff is good with details and we had the best agent to help us learn and grow with this difficult transaction. Also Jeff and I both are willing to do what is necessary to get what we desire! It is why we have this land and not someone else.
Success means doing what others are not willing to do! Right! Yes!
So now we are focusing on choosing an architect to design a modern home for us and researching modern modular green home designs which have very high standards of construction and are more cost efficient. I’ll keep you posted!
Below is a short and important article on perfectionism along with a tapping video to help you stop this negative pattern of thinking and manage your inner critic and cultivate more compassion and reward for what you have accomplished.
I see perfectionism as the # 1 self-sabotaging thinking that is keeping people playing small and or not at all. I suffer from this and so have many of my clients. And once the inner critic was under control success soared. You can’t be successful and be a perfectionist! The perfectionist is always self critical and disappointed in themselves which will not bring you any long term consistent success.
If you have perfectionist thinking and you desire to be successful in your life, this is a excellent place for you to transform. You’ll be so amazed at how awesome your life becomes when the inner critic is out of your way.
Keep an eye out for an email from me about a tele-class on perfectionism that I will be doing at the end of the month.
Recommended readings:
Thrive, redefining success and creating a life of well-being, wisdom, and wonder by Arianna Huffington
Leveraging The Universe, by Mike Dooley
Stop Your Perfectionism, It’s Keeping You From Success
If you hold yourself and others to a very high standard or you are the type of person who loves to learn and master everything than this is a good tapping session for you.
As children we make a Vow To Be Perfect because we think it is necessary for us to survive and thrive.
There are 2 parts to the Vow To Be Perfect:
1. The vow to be perfect is controlled by your inner critic that looks at mistakes you made in the past. Your inner critic keeps reminding you of the mistakes and how you either should have known better or tried harder…so you feel at fault for your loss and that is unforgivable so you deserve to not be rewarded for your efforts.
2. The vow to be perfect looks at what you did pretty well in the past and says it could have been better, should have been better, and is highly critical of your experiences and is always comparing them to what you “think” would be perfection. The inner critic only sees what went wrong or where you fell short of perfection. There is always a disappointment and never a celebration or honoring of your accomplishments.
When you go to do something new your inner critic will remind you how you messed up last time and to not do it again. This is where you can go into fight/flight/freeze.
This is why perfectionist want to know how something will turn out before they move forward or procrastinate because they don’t want to feel shame, guilt, humiliation, not good enough, or not smart enough….
From this perspective you never feel like you deserve attention, love, money, celebration, reward, respect, or credibility until you achieve perfection. There is always room for improvement, so you can justify your self-critism with logic that this is true.
Note to Self: ACHIEVING PERFECTION IS IMPOSSIBLE
The problem is there is no perfection for you to strive for. You are perfect in every moment and you don’t have to do anything to earn rewards.
Note to Self: YOU WERE BORN WORTHY OF ALL YOU DESIRE.
The tapping video below deals with #2 of the vow of perfection.
Exercise:
Think about the last thing that you accomplished.
As you recall it does your mind go to some version of “I know I could do it better, it wasn’t good enough”, or “I know how to make it better” or ” I should have__________ (practiced, spent more time, known better….”
Do these thoughts have more power than how well you did?
Those thoughts are classic signs of perfectionist thinking.
This thinking creates procrastination, low risk tolerance, fear (fight/flight/freeze), and keeps you playing small with little or no rewards.
Perfectionism is self-sabotage for the Entrepreneur because they can’t get out of their own way to building a successful business. AND they sacrifice themselves for the business, burnout and waste time being busy and not moving forward effectively for no rewards.
Use the video below to help you remove the fears and limited thinking holding you back. Once you recognize it as a habit of thinking rather than the truth of who YOU ARE, you can move past the inner critic voice and create new opportunities and rewarding experiences for yourself.
Tapping Video for Perfectionism
Let me know your experiences and any other tapping videos you would like me to make for you where you are struggling.
