Are Your Childhood Vows Keeping Your Income Low?

I trust that you are all finding much to have gratitude for in your life!

You don’t remember making these vows and most of them remain unconscious until you look deep and see what is keeping you blocked and stressed. 

Here are some of those 1st chakra vows!

• I vow to always support my family/tribe
• I vow to live by the laws and rules of my family/tribe
• I vow my family comes first
• I vow to not have more money than my family
• I vow to get rid of any money that reminds me that I wasn’t loved
• I vow to not have fun with money unless I punish myself after
• I vow to never allow reward
• I vow to never feel deserving
• I vow to hide out because the world/home/family is not safe

Your instinct to survive and thrive is so hardwired in you that you make vows to ensure your success. This includes all aspects of “who you are” and “how you feel about things” including money. You do whatever it takes to make yourself  feel safe and secure within your family and it doesn’t matter whether it is empowering or disempowering, because you don’t know the difference as a young child. 

I’m seeing this come up over and over with my clients and I’ve experienced it myself. 

Vows of loyalty are related to your safety, security and to your family’s money paradigm. These vows can cause you to limit your money and success in order to live up to your vows. You restrict how you earn, manage and save money. It has you playing small and not ask for what you need or desire. It has you questioning your own value and worthiness. 

You are not even aware you are making these vows.

When you instinctively feel drawn to creating more in your life but the unconscious vows you made counter that desire  you find ourselves feeling guilty or fearful. 

It can feel overwhelming and burdensome to an adult who took care of their parents from a young age and who was the emotional, physical, spiritual and sometimes financial support of the family to have more than their parents. Depression, anxiety, anger, and rebellion creates vows for not expressing your own needs and desires and diminishes your drive to create more for yourself because you don’t exist independently of your families.

I am seeing adults unconsciously limiting how much money they create because they believe they will then have to somehow be responsible to their family (i.e. will have to support parents, or take care of them in a way that is draining of their energy). So, unconsciously they are not saving or having extra money. They will even mirror the family in that it is ok for them to have debt, but not savings and when they have savings it confuses them and they don’t know what to do with it. Money is like a hot potato in their hands  so they find some way to spend it, but its usually not on themselves! 

Without clearing the loyalty vows you continue to feel the need to self-sabotage or limit yourself in order to take care of the unconscious loyalty towards your family rather than focusing on meeting your own needs, desires and success. 

You feel guilty for having desires when your family members are working really hard to make ends meet. It can feel like your family will abandon you or look down on you for creating something they don’t agree with. When this happens then money (income/savings) begins to feel painful more so than making you feel free and independent and accomplished.

And what do we do with pain? We avoid it!

Can you relate at all?

This is just one small example  of how your childhood vows affect your money and life today.

I understand not all parents would feel jealous, controlling or needy towards their children, but many do. 

Here is an Exercise for you

If you made a lot more money than your parents with less struggle and your would take care of yourself and enjoy your life fully, how would your family react?

Close your eyes and imagine driving up to your family’s home in a limo with all of them waiting for you. Imagine joining them in the house dressed in your favorite clothes and sharing with them all the success you have created for yourself, how much you make a month or year doing what you love, while only working x___ of hours. 

How do they react in your imagination? Look at all the members: mom, dad, grandparents, siblings. Are there any sexist remarks? Is there jealousy? Who would want things for money from you? How would you feel about that? This will give you a clue as to why you aren’t making more money and some vows you made.